As a field researcher for, I've been engaged for several years in determining new and exciting uses for the enhanced psychic powers that are every person's birthright, cruelly denied us by the enigmatic enemy we face. Just recently, we here at have been developing a truly astounding new use for our psychic gifts: Immortality through Personality Transference (IPT).

Here at our secret labs in the barren wastelands of northern censored, researchers have trapped dozens of hapless simps to serve as hosts for the personality of intrepid psychic explorers.

On December 16, 1997, Experiment Code Name Ezekiel reached its fruition.

Placed in the death chamber, surrounded by choking clouds of poison gas, I was able to use my enhanced psychic abilities to transfer my Personality/Memory Construct (PMC) into the brain of a shrewish housewife, obtained through's employee recruitment program.

I watched as my former body, devoid of a controlling PMC, writhed in mindless agony at the cruel hands of VX neurotoxin.

Success was ours!

The procedure is quite simple:

The entire PMC transferral takes place in less than a nanosecond, although if you encounter an especially strong-willed individual, or if the circumstances of your death have tapped your orgone energy reserves, PMC transferral could take a millisecond, possibly two.

Regardless, all but the most sudden deaths can be avoided by the prepared psychically capable individual.

Readiness is the key!

Find a suitable subject, enact the PMC transfer, and laugh as your former body is crushed in the gaping maw of Death.

Immediate problems with this technique are obvious:

It's amusing to watch a body devoid of a PMC wander aimlessly, drooling helplessly and uttering inchoate moans of despair. Revel in the power afforded to you by your superior psychic gifts, but also consider those who would deny us the powers that are rightfully ours.

Researchers at are currently studying the distance over which a PMC transfer can be performed successfully. Soon, you will be able to keep a clone of your body in storage at, an empty vessel awaiting your death should distant PMC transferral become practical for someone of your psychic maturity.

Imagine: Dying in a fetid gutter in India, only to wake in a clean room in our labs, your PMC safely housed in a fresh, new body.

The possibilities are endless, and surely you can see how we at are excited to usher in this new age of unrivalled wisdom, power, and knowledge.

Join us in a spirit of adventure as we enter the new era!

J. Robert Ayanami en Mary Twiggenham nee Cooper ex Stephen J. Frisk,
Chief of Field R&D

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